Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in SECharger73's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
1:34 am	I noticed it had been a while since I had seen Herbie, and it kinda worried me. Seriously. I was worried. I don't think I've conveyed the seriousness enough. (Editors Note: k, that's getting weird) So I went out looking for him. I tried the usual places.  The chocolate place at the mall.... The kids playground. Also at the mall...   Another of Herbie's favorite stores. I also went.... here? And back to the mall again. I also went here. Maybe. I even checked out in the field where I was building this thing, until Herbie fired me for talking to an AFL-CIO rep. With the fruitless search over, I decided to check out the library's collection of manatee and manatee-related literature, which I'm told is the second largest in the state. I hoped to perhaps gain some more insight in to the mind of the manatee. Someday, I hope I can watch a show on the Discovery or some other nature channel called "Mind of the Manatee." Even though it would probably be really boring.  *ahem* So, I went to the library. And there I saw a site I never imagined could be...  When I tried to talk to him, he motioned for the librarian. She asked me to leave "'Sweet' Sammy Seacow" alone. Herbie, much like myself, appears fond of alliteration and aliases. I'm actually kind of curious what other fake names Herbie has come up with when he meets people... That aside, I knew Herbie was okay. So I went home and made a sandwich. It was this weird protein bread from Trader Joes. With salami and turkey. And pepper jack cheese. And an olive on a toothpick. High class around here. Anyway, Herbie rolled in a bit later, waxing grandiloquent of philosophy and history and politics. It should be noted that "waxing grandiloquent" is meant as a sardonic statement, for Herbie has no interest in anything beyond the simplest way for him to get what he wants. Thus, when I say that Herbie was: "waxing grandiloquent of philosophy and history and politics" I mean that he was: "battering every solid surface, plus Bryan, with everything from Machiavelli to Marx" A minor concussion later, I awoke to a note saying that Herbie had also checked out some books for me. He's a smart-ass, now. Still, Herbie's interest in gaining knowledge is rather disconcerting... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 31st, 2005
7:05 pm	Intrigue... I hadn't heard from Herbie in quite some time, up until this afternoon. He caused his usual Manatee Ruckus© before thrusting this in to my hands:               I had no idea what was going on.   My assumption was that Herbie wanted me to build this... whatever it is. I believe I had valid concerns about undertaking this project, give my construction experience is limited to Legos, Lincoln Logs, and paper plate maracas.   However, after explaining my concerns to Herbie, he began flopping about and destroying various items of furniture and drug paraphenalia.                 And then came the bleating.         I am comfortable in saying, without hyperbole, that the infuriated bleating of a manatee is more frightening than the sum of all horror writings, drawings, pictures, and movies put together.            Even including Goosebumps.                                                       Times six.                                                                                     Plus eight.                                                                           .... and a half.                 Eventually, I had no choice but to agree to build this... whatever it is. I informed Herbie, who seemed absolutely thrilled that I agreed to do him this favor. He scampered off in the same way that a hippopotamus might frolick.               Now, I have always been under the impression that, when you do a favor for someone, the one receiving the favor tends to be grateful and accommodating, especially in situations where the one doing the favor is in way over his head (for example, when building something without a supply list, measurements, decipherable instructions, or a visual of the finished project).           Apparently, manatees operate under an entirely different premise.             Thus, instead of being patient and understanding, and maybe bringing me a lemonade or two during the building process, Herbie decided that the role of a despotic overseer would be more appropriate.                         I knew when the ground began to tremble and the windows began to rattle that I was in for a problem.                           Then, on the horizon, like a magnificent, all consuming, Everglade's dwelling monster of terror and doom... he appeared.                                           The bleating was magnified to epic proportions.         He now insists... demands... that I address him as "Supreme Master and Ruler of Construction Operations and the Old Navy that's in the Mall" throughout this whole adventure.                                                                                                                                                   I wonder if Herbie even knows what it is he wants me to build... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 24th, 2005
1:13 pm	More sightings I saw Herbie again today. He was still wearing the same glasses. He was also at the mall.   The last adventure to the mall, if you'll recall, was for his birthday, when I took him shopping.       He loved it.         He loved shopping with a passion reserved for fruit drinks and Mel Gibson films.         He loved it more than watching propeller boats crash and burn.         He loved it more than saltwater taffy.           Maybe his absence is the result of an ever-growing love; a genuine desire to be forever bathed in the glories of modern consumerism.       I was able to obtain several photographs, and I present a few of them to you now.           He remains elusive, however, and he fled when I was attempting to contact him.                                           He also doesn't return the voicemails that I've been leaving him. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
11:37 pm	Ronald the Robust Rhesus Monkey Goes to Chinatown Part 2: Return of Admiral Chadwick You may have noticed that Herbie, my adopted manatee, has been absent. I noticed this myself about three weeks ago.   My instinct told me that he had simply blown up.                           Like this:               Upon deeper reflection, doubt has crept in to my mind.   I now find myself questioning whether or not manatees actually combust in such a manner, or even whether they combust at all.   While pondering this, I decided to go to the mall.           Don't ask why.               Seriously, don't.                   If you do, bad things will happen.                 Very bad things.                 WRHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRWRHWHAHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH     So, I was at the mall, and I saw something that caught my eye.   ... something that made me think.     That something.......... was this:               I'm pretty sure every item in that store "can only be found in this exclusive TV offer."                     Oh, I also saw this:         So, now I'm sorta inclined to believe that Herbie didn't blow up.       I think he's disguising himself for some reason.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             (Hint: This is my way of cleverly bringing back Herbie; clever in that the manner in which I am choosing to do so gives me a great lead-in for a continuing saga. It should be noted that this hint is only here because if you were dumb enough to scroll all the way down to this, you probably needed that hint.) (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 18th, 2005
3:58 pm	A Lifelong Dream Fulfilled As I mentioned in a recent journal entry, my adopted manatee, Herbie, had a birthday recently. I thought it might be appropriate to celebrate Herbie's birth by taking him to do some of the things that he loves to do most. So, I took him shopping. You may not know this, but manatees love to shop.   They love shopping more than they love water.   And they live in water.   Before the trip, I asked Herbie to make a list of places he wanted to go, and stores he wanted to visit. Unfortunately, manatees can't write. I suspect this is because of substandard funding in the school system.   Alas, there was no way around Herbie's inability to write. So we worked out a system in which, every time we passed a store or an item Herbie wished to stop at, he would sound his Manatee-Horn (tm).   It sounded like this:   WRHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRWRHWHAHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH       We ended up finding some very cool things while shopping, despite being asked to leave several stores due to other customers complaining about the size, smell, and sound of Herbie.   The first thing we found was a hat. I think it looks great on him:     Isn't he adorable?           If you say no, I will have Herbie sit outside your window sounding the Manatee-Horn (tm) all night long.   You don't want that, do you?   "WRHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRWRHWHAHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" while you're trying to sleep?   No, you don't want that. So just admit that Herbie is adorable in his little hat, and sit the fuck down.   Herbie also wanted some maracas.     Dance to the music. Cha cha cha.   Herbie made up a song and dance about his hat and maracas. However, while practicing, Herbie caused $3,275,458.14 worth of property damage. I will not post further details here, on the advice of my attorney.                                         Herbie also got a cake.                                                                                                     WRHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRWRHWHAHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
1:16 am	Saving the Manatees As you may well know, I find not upholding ones principles to be a damnable offense, and I will be damned if I don't uphold my principles. And I think that one of the principles I hold that can potentially result in my damning if I don't uphold it is... uh... I lost my train of thought. But I think it had something to do with my AIM away messages...   Oh, yeah. I had that away message up about saving manatees.     So I adopted one.       His name is Herbie.           He likes the circus, and kittens, and El Torito.           He looks like this:       Tomorrow happens to be Herbie's birthday, so I am taking my adopted aqautic aquaintance shopping. I don't know where manatees shop, but I think I'm going to start with the mall.                 I bet he'll like the Gap. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
2:59 am	Save the manatees Manatees are endangered.   This is a manatee:   Look at it... isn't it cute?   Here, you can see even cuter manatees:   Manatees are endangered because of human expansion. Their habitats get destroyed, and they get run over by boats, and sliced up by the boat propellors. It's all very sad.   Please help save these noble creatures. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 1st, 2005
5:12 pm	If it weren't against my ordinary livejournal practices, I'd give you all a serious journal entry today.   Instead, I give you a dancing kitty. Current Music: Moving Units - Between Us and Them (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
12:43 am	The Life Terrestrial: Without Steve Zissou (not starring Bill Murray) I went to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (starring Bill Murray) tonight. It was so-so. I actually haven't entirely come to realize exactly how I feel about the movie, which includes Bill Murray amongst its cast. It's one of those movies that might need to be rewatched and discussed. This is because it was either really bad, with poor character development and a disjointed story, or it was a series of cleverly written commentaries. I'm inclined to believe the latter is true... so, please, if you're interested in discussing this, drop me a line. On to something else, though (Hey, you didn't expect my only update to be about some movie (starring Bill Murray), did you?)... I took on the role of "active participant" in the fraternity at some point last week. Details are scarce, but there have been rumored reports of me attending several brotherhood or brother-related events, such as the birthday party of one of the brothers (not Bill Murray), as well as broomball in Oxnard last week. Three pledges also claim to have sighted me at various locales both on-campus and off. You will be updated as the story develops. I'm also back in Newbury Park for the time being. My being home isn't unusual. In fact, pretty much every Jewish kid that went away to college is back home right now, because Saturday night is the first night of Passover. There's also the potential for some Passover Drama (tm) coming up tomorrow night. If you want a preview, you can call me and ask for the story. Please call and ask for the story. Please just call. For anything. Really... Please?.... It's so lonely down here.... Is he still writing this? Is anyone still reading this? P.S.- Bill Murray. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
3:59 am	So I've been spending a decent bit of time at the Chumash Indian Reservation and Casino recently, mostly because of my interest in the history of the Chumash, and the underlying contexts that have placed them in the situation that they face today. Also, I enjoy playing cards. It's almost bordering addiction. My roomate had a great point though. He said that it's really only a gambling problem if you're losing... I think I agree. So I'm probably going back pretty soon... (Comment on this)
Friday, March 11th, 2005
11:24 am	I saw Cabaret last night, at the small theater on campus. One of my frat brothers was in it, else I would not have known about it... I hadn't seen it before, so it was good to get out and bring some culture in to my pathetically middle-class American life. The performance wasn't particularly... well, it was bad. I suppose that's not too fair, given that the show was put together, in entirety, in a little over a month. However, the talent just wasn't there. Oddly enough, I really began to miss the theater group, which I am beginning to think was a lot more talented than I ever knew, at Newbury Park... Then the six-foot tall Asian playing Herr Schultz said something about "mazel," and hilarity ensued. In fact, everything was generally lighthearted and fun... until the babe in the corset and garter combination threw up a good ol' "Sieg Heil." That just threw me off. I guess that's one advantage of seeing this particular play performed by a college theatrical group... the girls are so hot... Rob: So how was the play? Aaron: Well, the girls were really hot. And they weren't wearing much of anything. Rob: .... Aaron: What? Rob: Philistine. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 14th, 2005
10:49 am	At 9:15 this morning, the first aired broadcast by the group known as The Tarped Gazebo hit the airwaves on 770/880, KJUC AM. The broadcast was marked by general ineptitude in regards to the various devices used to modulate sounds emanating from the station, though spirits remained high. Which is something that Tarped Gazebo will certainly be before the next broadcast. Stay tuned. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 4th, 2004
3:15 pm	"People say modern life is stressful. Stress is not a characteristic of life or times, but of people. Stress does not come from the environment, it comes from the mind of the indivudual under stress. We make certain assumptions about the world, and we become attached to those assumptions . . . We complain about how the world fails to live up to our expectations. We think about how life doesn't live up to its billing, and how it should, and how it is rotten that it doesn't, and how we should somehow fix it. Many people think themselves to death." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
12:42 pm	I had intended to put a whole bunch of witty little cliches in here, such as, "Wow, a picture really is worth a thousand words," or, "Do you think the thousands of dollars a year that go to college are being well spent," but I decided that doing so would be silly and frivolous.   So, instead, I present you with... oh hell, I don't know what the fuck this is...                                                     I blame Jess.       (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 19th, 2004
10:35 pm	Karma in action? Or just really shitty luck? You decide... I sit before my monitor and keyboard at my home in Newbury Park in a great deal of pain. At present I am leaning over, keeling if you will, my desk as I write this. No, I am not nauseous and about to vomit from too much alcohol. No, I am not falling asleep because I, once again, smoked far too much pot. I am in pain. Allow me to explain why. I was playing hockey today. Nothing unusual; I play hockey fairly regularly. I was actually very excited to play today, and was even more excited after arriving at the rink, because the team scheduled to play after my game needed a goalie. Since hockey is the greatest thing on Earth (next to pancakes), I was thrilled to be playing in back to back games. That is not why I'm in pain, though. Allow me to foreshadow exactly what is going to happen. *Ahem* You know how athletes wear protective cups? Yeah... sometimes, those protective cups don't do jack shit. "Gee, I wonder what happened to Bryan this evening while playing hockey..." Imagine, if you will (and you will because I said so), a puck traveling at high velocity through the air, a little under a foot off of an ice surface. Imagine that puck colliding with one's body. Imagine that point of collision being square in the nuts. I am in pain because a puck struck me in the testicles. Did that make you a little uncomfortable? Yeah? Well imagine what it was like for me. After much flailing and thrashing and general pain-induced body movements, I was able to tolerate the feeling of what doctors refer to as, "Shit, son... that must hurt" Syndrome. I finished the game, and drove my hurt person home. Where I typed this up. So, now, I am off to bed. I'm just going to lay down with an ice pack on my crotch, and sleep away the pain. P.S- I think this is karma. And it's a bitch. P.P.S- Playoffs are next week, on Saturday I think. Anyone who wants to watch me play goalie (and carefully guard my pelvic region) should give me a call. And I promise not to talk about my crotch anymore. Crotchy crotch crotch. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 15th, 2004
3:33 pm	Today can be summed up in one word: Why? Yes. That's about right. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 13th, 2004
1:54 am	Allow me to expand upon my previous update. I jumped out of a plane today. It was cool. Wait, that's not what I was going for. Perhaps I should start out by saying that stupidity can lead to beauty. This statement sort of sets the tone of a thesis, tieing the paragraphs of the story together. The story began when SoCal Da Nuge invited myself on a sky-diving expedition. We would, on a Friday night, drive to New Mexico. Upon arrival in New Mexico, we would meet with Nuge's friends. After that, we would drive up to Colorado, sky-dive there, and then drive back. The sky-diving would have taken place too late for me to get back to work on Monday, considering the 14 hour drive and such. There were a bunch of stupid ideas there. Anything involving SoCal Da Nuge is guaranteed to be a stupid idea. Sky-diving involves jumping out of a fucking plane. Jumping out of a plane is a stupid idea. Driving to New Mexico on a Friday night, for little purpose? Stupid idea. 14 hour car ride with Nuge? Stupid idea. Luckily, the number of stupid ideas was simply too overwhelming to ignore, so the trip was cancelled. Several weeks later, the topic of sky-diving came up around Eric. Eric decided to chime in and say that he really wants to go sky-diving, and we should plan to do so. Stupid idea. So, several weeks after that (bringing us to last Tuesday), we arranged to sky-dive out in Riverside County. Stupid idea. We decided to do the freefall jump, where we would sit through about 5 hours of classes so that we could actually freefall and pull our own parachute, and pilot our own parachute. This option, though $100 more expensive (stupid idea), was chosen over the more popular, far less intensive tandem jump, where you are attached to a pilot, but needed no more than 40 minutes training. Stupid idea. I drove the Caddy to the sky-diving place. Stupid idea. The engine was sorta overheating on the way back, but I forgot to check out the coolant levels before it got dark. I probably won't remember to do so in the morning, thus putting my car's engine at risk. This is a... yes... stupid idea. So we did the sky diving thing. I jumped out of a plane today. And it was the most amazing experience I have ever had. While there have been many exciting and thrilling and dangerous experiences, this one tops them all. When I pulled my rip-cord out at 5000 feet, the gentle upward tug of the parachute caused all the noise from wind rushing by my head to cease, and I had a moment of what seemed like absolute, pure silence. That, and jumping out of a plane is just a way radical thing to do. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 12th, 2004
8:54 pm	I jumped out of a plane today. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
1:02 am	Postscript to the entry made earlier today Steve and I decided to go bowling this lovely Saturday eve, at the Camarillo Harley bowling alley. Cosmic Bowling was in effect, which essentially meant that we could bowl from 11:00 PM to 1:30 AM. This system is wonderful, and it allowed Steve and myself to bowl at least 7 games a piece. During that stretch of 7 games, I was undefeated. The only hiccup came when Steve tied my score of 147. That bastard. I did have a personal record score of 185 at one point during our bowling session. I also ran in to Jade, who was looking rather beautiful. She was mad at me because I hadn't called her during the summer yet, and made me promise to do so at some point before I go back to school. And, to sound like the shallow swine that I am, her looking so good will probably have me trying to see her more than once. God, I am such a sucker for a pretty face. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 7th, 2004
6:57 pm	I awoke fairly early this morning, and decided to make today a good one. It has gone well so far. I played a little Playstation after waking, since I knew nobody else would be awake, and my dad was still out golfing. Once he returned, I inquired as to whether he would be interested in driving out to Woodland Hills with me to go purchase some hockey equipment, as a large sale was being held at the Encore Sports store. He, unfortunately, had to wait for some contractors to arrive and check out the bathroom. It would appear that he's looking at putting a shower in the bathroom that I use. This would be fucking wonderful, as I have not had a shower in that bathroom since he ripped out the old one, about a year ago. So, I ventured forth to the land of Woodland Hills alone. I perused the shop, and questioned the dealer of hockey-related wares in regards to the construction, sizing, and pricing of said hockey-related wares. While I was primarily there to purchase a goaltending glove and blocker, I was also interested in the sale on goaltending sticks, and a complete chest protector, as the one I had presently was worthless and protected what amounted to all of nothing. So I selected the items that I felt would warrant purchasing, and arranged to take ownership of them via a trade system that was, in essence, me handing the shopkeep a fat wad of money in return for some styrofoam. But lo, there was difficulty. My ATM/Debit card only works on purchases of up to $300. The total value of the goods I sought to purchase was in the neighborhood of $500. This led to some difficulty, as I could not, therefore, trade the required funds for the desired equipment. So I drove to a Wells Fargo branch and withdrew $500 in cash-money, yo. The teller was very helpful, and while the transaction was processing, he mentioned that I was eligible for an ATM/debit card with a $500 limit. Gee, thanks. That was something that would have been useful... oh, I don't know... half-a-fucking-hour earlier. But hey, at least I'll never run in to that issue again... unless I need five hundred dollars and one cent. Upon receiving $500 in $100 bills, I cried. Mostly, because I saw almost an entire week of work, in my hand. Seeing 45 hours of your life physically represented by 5 sheets of paper is a very harsh, depressing experience. But I exchanged the aforementioned currency for the similarly-aforementioned goaltending equipment, and assumed ownership of said merchandise. That was pretty cool. The glove and blocker even match my leg pads. After that, I made a call to the Gilmore residence and asked to speak with the elder son, Benjamin. We agreed that it would be a good idea to gather in one automobile, and venture to Pep Boys in Thousand Oaks. My Charger needed a new master brake cylinder, while Ben's Mustang needed a new air filter and fuel filter. All of which was readily available and competitively priced at my friendly, local Pep Boys(tm). Ben's purchase was inexpensive and fairly simple, as we assumed it would be. My purchase was surprisingly inexpensive, and equally surprisingly simple. The brake master cylinder for a 73 Dodge Charger with a 400 cubic inch V8 engine was not only in stock, but also under $30. The part itself was $14, and a core deposit was $15. The concept of a core deposit is this: when you purchase a replacement part, the old one is called a "core." Upon returning the core to the store from which you purchased the replacement, you receive the core deposit back. In this case, a used, broken part is worth one dollar more than a functioning replacement. Fantastic business model there, Pep Boys. After that excercise in poor economics, Ben and myself retreated back to the Gilmore residence, where Steve was abducted. We proceeded to my home, where footballs were thrown, and many acrobatic dives and catches were made... in to the pool. There's just something great about throwing a football around with your friends in a swimming pool. After the refreshing pool experience, we three ventured to Peppertree... park, that is. The pastime of our nation, baseball, proceeded to take place. None of us can pitch, though Steve has a strong swing that can send a baseball sailing quickly towards the grassy outfield. After some general, disorganized ball was played, yet another trip to the Gilmore residence was arranged. This time, we gathered in the van, and drove to Jamba Juice, where I enjoyed a Berry Lime Sublime smoothie. I enjoyed it greatly. That's pretty much been it. It's been a lot of fun though. (Comment on this)